Warhol, oh Warhol

Art.

Sighs.

That's Andy Warhol for you. The artist that created the colorful Marilyn Monroe and Mao. So I had a crush on him while studying about him (Okay fine, he's gay and dead. rah) What a way. But then again, it seems like most of the guys that I fall for are all...not very right - as stated in one of my entries back then. Now, it's like, he's gay, *ouch. Oh, and he's convieniently dead too *double ouch. Yes Lisa, I got it. LOL. He's dead. (: His photobooth pictures reminds me that I should be doing something like that too, soon.

Some of the art girls and I were discussing that if we were to marry Piet Mondrian.... everything's gonna be squares and rectangles and red and blue and yellow. HAHA. I'll die. I really will die. And Deb says Warhol is too cool for me. Edward Hopper's then for me. Sighs, the emotional guy who paints the empty and solitary side of mankind. HMMM.. Nighthawk- one of my favourite pieces. (:

Okay. The only reason why am I blabbering nonstop right now is because:

1. I have not completed my art homework. (DEEPSHIT I TELLYOU)

2. I have Art camp tmr.

Tmr's art camp would probably be the first camp that I'll be going to that doesn't have PT in the morning. I don't know whether to be thankful anot because I think I might run in the morning. But then again, I think I might not even sleep on the night before. OMGAHH. Much less run the next morning. I might be closing my eyes while running the length of the track and trip and fall glamorously all over again. I think the NIKE race has got me into running. Let's all fall in love with running.

To think about it, I would never have joined some 10km race if it wasnt for touch rugby. If I didn't join any sports CCA, there you go, I'll be as fat as the doorway. - Not that I'm any thinner, but still, you know, sighs. But I hated running all the while. I liked Canoeing though, HHEHEEHEHEH. I don't liek the capsizing part only. SO retarded. The drill is meant to leave you speechless. UNDERWATER AND SLAP THE BOAT 3 TIMES THANKS!

I'm reluctant to go for the art camp tmr. I think I'm not bringing my sleeping bag. We're gonna sleep in the fusion house and it's gonna be cold like mad.

we were meant to live for so much more

but we lost ourselves.

Garbage.

With the many assurance from friends, I feel absolutely high and euphoric after getting to know that there will be no school on Thurs and Fri. Finally, serenity and peace - totally away from school and everybody - I like. (additional pros - sleeping very very in, and more time with etten, awesome.)

Word of the day for today (frequency of use): Awesome.

Been using it for quite a number of times today. Because I refuse to be left speechless by friends who irritate the shit out of me (I don't know why, but the numbers are like increasing everyday, I fear it's me, or I simply have a face that everybody likes to irritate:), so I'll "AWESOME!" in their face with a very excited face of mine and walk away - too tired to entertain. As much as I would like to take Ms Zeenat's stand of "I've come here to teach, not to entertain.", I can't possibly take the same stand, cos half of my life, I've been entertaining people, including people I don't like. I'm sorry for being hypocrite. The world taught me that.(HAHAHAHA) Awesome.

Something's that's been in my mind for quite sometime: I hate my class - in general.

I'm okay with individuals. I swear. But as whole, No thank you.

Stupid people who will like comment on the songs I/others listen to. Commenting's fine. Putting down's not fine - it pisses me off. I didn't even say anythng about your pop/dance kind of music which I would daresay is an embarrassment, in your case of putting my type of music down. So just shut the fuck up and the world will be a better place. You can go disintegrate from the face of the Earth, I won't bother.

Speaking of "face of the Earth", I realised that 1A04 DID disappear from the face of the Earth. Why? You mean, 2A04's a class? HAHAH. Where? Why? Besides assembling in a line as a class, where else? Oh er. Nothing else, my lord. Nothing.

And yeah, Nothing will come out of nothing and nobody gives a fuck about it cos it's eventually nothing. Started off with nothing and will definitely end off with nothing - logic what.

Some girls from girl's school disgust the shit out of me. Weister, you're one of the very very few that prevents me from stereotyping all of them.

I'm like wasting my fucking time on this fucked up bunch of group when I could have just done my fucked up econs homework. :(

and my mom thinks IM the one picking fights with my classmates. woah, awesome. Dear mom, the mistakes i've done, as compared to them, may be offset by the amount of fucked up stuff they've done. Wait, the first thing, I didn't even commit any single mistake - ahh yes, maybe scoring badly for O's and choosing SR and my current combi. These might be the only mistakes and I feel that there's no one, except myself that I've to account for.

oi, please, don't try to gain sympathy. don't try to fish for compliments. just don't fucking try.

I really do.

I have bad attitude
I have bad attitude
I have bad attitude
I have bad attitude

2 of my teachers think that I have bad attitude
2 of my teachers think that I have bad attitude

These 2 teachers barely know me
These 2 fucking teachers barely know me

And they have fixed their impression of me as a bad student.
Bad
Bad
Bad
Bad

Negative
Negative

You know? The type that talks back. The type that states how they feel. The type that replies in something they would have never thought about. The type that keeps quiet when they ask a question.

When I talk, you say I’m being a nuisance, a disturbance to the class. When I don’t talk, you’d say I’m not participative in class discussions.

To put it crudely, they think I’m a chao ah lian. A rebel, a problematic kid. Immature, childish, ignorant, spoilt.

Chao ah lian
Chao ah lian
Chao ah lian

C’mon, give me a fucking fair conduct. I don’t give a shit if you teachers read our blogs.
I don’t give a shit.
I don’t give a shit
I don’t.

This is MY space. So don’t come telling me what to do. All you guys care is whether I perform well in school, BE in school, dress appropriately for school, bring the school glory, don’t sleep in classes, walk fast to other venues and BEHAVE.

It’s like a neighbour telling me that I shouldn’t buy haviannas because it’s expensive. It’s like a neighbour telling me to plant a couple of plants so that her/his life can be more colourful. It’s like a neighbour telling me to not wear shorts cos I have big fat ugly thighs. It’s like a neighbour telling me that I shouldn’t wear sports bra cos it causes cancer.

Because you know I’ll still do it no matter how. You do know it, deep down in your hearts. You do. You really do.

I’m not trying to show how powerful I am here. There’s nothing powerful about this. Nothing. This is my space. There’s only ME. Who am I powerful against? Myself? Now what? You think I go for cheap thrills like you? Reading student’s blog?

I’m so sorry to disappoint you, I really am.

And when I finally decide to trust, and let my heart do the talking, I realize it isn’t what it is. It’s like the same old thing. Being lifted high up, then the rope broke, or the person just let go, it’s back to the floor – the cold hard floor. It’s like back to square one, but with bruises and wounds, cuts and scrapes, blood and tears. Nothing much, just additional stuff. Nothing much. I mean like, hello? What’s new? HAHAHA.

I am Lynette. And JOKE is the middle name. And sometimes, I’m also known as the holiday toy. You know? The one you used to express your feelings and nonsense on, and when school reopens, you totally forget about her. Wait, does that sound familiar to YOU?

I never knew such stuff would hurt this much. No one told me how to handle such situations. No one told me that it would hurt this much. No one told me that I have to face all these crap. No one told me that I would be the one at the losing end. No one told me that I have to go through these alone.

No one.

No one said I should be born either.